this weekend my mom briefly met the guy i am (was?) hooking up with without actually knowing there was anything going on between us, and afterword she said he seemed like a gigantic douche bag. all of the sudden i have no interest in seeing him anymore. 

sororities are great. stop being judgmental. i honesty don’t know what i would do without this external suppert system

like there’s nothing shittier than a person whose judgmental about greek life without ever experiencing it for themselves. it’s really an ugly quality to have.

dont yuck somone elses yum ppl. 

so in my drunken fit i realized i may have promised someone a bid. shit. 

i;ve been drunk for 10 straight hours this is both a new high and a a new low 

My mom always used to tell me that i should strive to have the most amount of choices at all times and I’m happy to announce that at my new job I have the privilege of being able to chose between forcing myself on the metro or forcing myself on the bus every single day because they’re both within 2 blocks of the office.

today einstein’s gave me pumpkin cream cheese rather than the light cream cheese that i asked for and it tasted like frosting and now i wanna yack. 




looks like we got a lying whore

he was so into it lol

lol to the entirety of hsm 1 2 and 3

**i’m not a rapper**


Bae: Come over I’m horny ;)

Me: I can’t I’m murdering two teeange lovers in a clown suit

Bae: My parents are out




Socks, Bill Clinton’s cat, being hounded by the paparazzi


Socks, Bill Clinton’s cat, being hounded by the paparazzi

fleetwood mac is going to be in dc on halloween and i bet 1 trillion dollars i won’t find anyone here to go with me. 

guys last night greyhound left 5 young women alone at a bus station in annapolis. the bus drove right past us. it was dark. i was pissed. the attendants at the station had to bend over backwards for us and the only thing greyhound would do was to send a bus back for us 3 hours after they called. 

so “signal boost” this shit or whatever tumblr does. because i want to be a hero to other women. and also because fucking greyhound won’t pay for the uber we had to take back to washington. 

so don’t take greyhound ever.